it's always bothered me a little. here's this guy, 100% hearing and following God. in fact, he's one of the few i believe that actually got to hang out with God while he received the 10 Commandments, you know who I'm talking about? yeah. Moses.
the same Moses that killed a man, the same Moses that confronted Pharaoh on many occasions, the same Moses that lead the Israelites across the Red Sea, the same Moses that listened for 40 years to a bazillion Israelites complain and whine about their feet hurting, the food, and I'm sure the dust in everything they owned. Moses had to put up with a ton, actually more than a ton in my book.
But then there is this time, when the people wanted some water real bad and God told Moses to strike a certain rock and then give Him the glory, well, Moses struck a rock and water came out, but he didn't give God credit. God actually said "because you did not believe in me, to uphold me as holy in the eyes of the people of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that i have given them" Numbers 20:12
so let me get this straight.. this uber God guy who is putting up with a whole bunch of whiners that God himself told him to lead to the promiseland... doesn't get to step one pinkie toe in that promiseland???
and i think my life is unfair??!!??
Moses had to let go of the dreams of milk and honey in his mind. He wasn't going to get that "perfect" life in the promiseland. His life was severely altered by disobeying God.
But Moses chose not to react in hate towards God.
I'm not saying he didn't get angry, or upset, scripture doesn't tell us how he felt about not getting into the promsieland, but when he decided to love those grumbly Israelites enough to help them remember where they came from and where they were headed, he acted out of love. Moses didn't want anyone to forget about a God so big and so mighty and so gracious and so forgiving, that I'm sure he wept deeply for his sin and it's effect on him and those that surrounded him.
Moses could have just said to "hell with it all" but he didn't. he started writing. He wrote and wrote, and today we read his writings in the Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy.
and there's where we see it. Where we see the whole point, in my humble opinion...
it doesn't matter how many "things" you did in God's name in the past. When God looks at your heart and sees even a bit of something that doesn't glorify Him.. He will call you on it, and ask for you to give it to Him, and when you do..no mater how hard, and painful. God will say..
"My Love, now i can finally use you."
Let the Words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O lord, my rock and redeemer. Psalm 19:14