I'm finding it hard to use words to describe how amazing my God is today,
so please bear with my inadequacies and wordiness about me. ;)
2 years ago I was called out of full time ministry and I thought life was over. To top it off, God never gave the Lead Singer or I any indication that we needed to switch churches. That meant I needed to learn to live in this church community, which meant I needed to take some huge scary steps. Like
- walk through the church doors every week,
- smile and not cry at people when I saw them,
- even say hi to some folks,
- seek forgiveness and give forgiveness,
- learn to accept friendships that were based in ministry dwindle down to a simple hello.
- and most importantly to lean heavily into God's Word.
Thank goodness I didn't have to walk this walk alone, God made sure there was a hand to grab at every intersection and every growth point. In many ways, just by you reading this now is a testimony to your willingness to hold my hand through healing. Many times Another Happy Day has been my sounding off point on this journey, God knew over two years ago, when I woke up and was instructed to tell what was on my heart, that you as a reader needed to join me on this journey.
This morning, I go to church and a brother in Christ approaches me. He simply asked if I would be able to help serve communion. I'm in tears writing this, simply because I feel that there had been a hedge around me for two years, and God hasn't even allowed me to even be asked to serve by anyone.
Waiting in back with the elements listening to God's Words concerning communion from our pastor, it hits me. I'm standing there, holding a representation of His Body, and I get to serve. Tears spring from my eyes, and I need to regroup before I bawl all over everyone's cracker, so I turn around and place them on the table behind me, only to find the same brother that asked if I would serve, see my tears, find a napkin, and wipe my cheeks. Of course.. even in my serving I needed someone to hold my hand!
What an intimate thing it is to serve communion. Servers get to hand people the Body and the Blood of Christ. In the same way that Jesus handed the same elements to those around the table.
Oh my heart over fills with the desire to praise Him! He knew! He knew when I woke up this morning that I was going to be blessed in this way.. I bet he had all his angels around Him nudging them saying, "Watch this, I'm going to bless my daughter big time this morning,and I want you to see, I'm so proud of her!"
"Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you."
Knowing I'm loved enough for Him to even care where I serve inside this church blows me away. He chose me to serve. He chose me to be called out of ministry so He could bless me more than I would have noticed before. God lead me on this hard path, to be close to Him on this day. He gets the glory. He gets the praise. I just get to bask in the blessing.. and I'm way ok with that.