Monday, January 16, 2012

my dream for the day

Ever have one of those days when you can't focus? I giggle slightly at writing that mainly due to the fact that I think thats an everyday thing for me, and I have just learned to live in the chaos of it all. Somehow functioning. Always feeling behind the 8 ball.

It is Monday. A day I set aside the normal for the mundane. The day I get the house in order, or at least try, after the world changers and the lead singer have been home for the weekend.  Maybe it is the canker sore on the right side of my tongue, persistently irritating my thoughts. Or maybe its the stench of the cat litter that I refuse to change, yes, we have a cat in the house... imagine that. He was one of the lucky ones, and dreadfully adorable.. but he still makes messes.

A mess. That is what I feel like. A dozen projects in each room calling for my attention.. and here I sit staring a the screen of my mac pounding out my frustrations with myself. Why can't I just get it together. When did laundry, dishes, floors, cat litter become more important that my dreams and goals?

For that conversation to even begin in my head is a dangerous thing. What in the heck ARE my dreams and goals. I can tell you it's certainly not having the most tidy house in the world, or the most healthy food on the table, or even cookies in the cookie jar. Enough of the what my goals aren't, but I can't even being to list what my goals are. Is it even possible to admit that I think goals are dumb?

Ugh. I'm confusing myself. I'm sorry. Sometimes without editing my thoughts I confuse myself. If your still reading.. welcome to my brain.. today we are playing the reel "confused." belly up to the bar and grab a drink.

Focus. I didn't get that gene. Perhaps thats why I'm not very good at details? Ahhhhhh I'm depressing myself. Not my intention at all. I am a perfectly formed child of the Living God. I am worthy of His love and everything I do for Him is worth it. Everything. For. Him.

Everything. For. Him.

Excuse me... I'm going to go change the laundry... for Him.

Not because laundry is a goal or dream, but because being a stay at home mom means waking up and putting your big girl panties on and being a servant. A servant to Him, who blessed me with an amaxing family, life and the wonderful ability to make bread in my oven to cover up that stench coming from the litter box.

Which just maybe my dream and goal for the day, and that is 100% ok.

"Thus says the Lord: Keep your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears,
 for there is a reward for your work," declares the Lord. 
Jeremiah 31:16


Karmen said...

You are amaxing. Thanks for sharing.

kelly said...

Thanks for the comment :) i appreciate them here!

Karmen M. said...

Still love this and you!