Wednesday, December 22, 2010

for His glory.

5:30 a.m.-  I called in to offer to give a closer substitute a chance to work at that school that day. The wind was hollering already, and the forecast said we were to get 2-6 more inches of snow.

7:30 a.m.-  I head on my way to the school.  I do call when I'm almost there thinking that maybe they just forgot to call me? but nope, I'm on.. and it's snowing already.

8:32 a.m.- I'm late, but after I think about it days later I think I know why. What I witness in the parking lot is a mom, with three littles, and she's screaming. One is crying. One is on her hip, and the other won't get out of the car. She's quite a ways a way so I quickly walk into the school because I personally have had those "mommy moments" where you hope no one was watching, and she was having one of those moments.  I sign in at the office and head to the room I'm assigned to.

Then I bump into them in the hall. The screaming mom and her three littles. The one is still crying. Seems he wants her to walk him to his room. He's late, so she doesn't. Instead she counts.. and he stomps off. Crying.

I pass her, again.

In my room, the kiddos are headed to breakfast, so I stay but for a second, and head off with them. You have already guessed I'm sure where that mom and her now two littles are headed. Toward the room I'm subbing in.

Being a sub, your kinda like a grandma, you get to come in and save the day, and you really don't get to involved in the day to day nuances that each little has, you simply get to come in the door, play a bit, and leave. I love that. This job suits me, and I thank Him every time I get to save the day.

In the breakfast room, I hear her. This time the once quiet little is bawling, and she's still screaming. He won't put his shoes on, and the armor in my heart melts. I have no choice now but to act. I'd love to tell you that I heard a direct voice from God, but i didn't. I didn't even know what I was going to say to diffuse this screaming mom, but I knew I needed to say something.

I left the breakfast room, and entered the hall. Walked up to the little man and told him my name. Then, I looked mom in the face and touched her shoulder, and said, "somedays are just hard, huh?"  

Time stood still as I stood on Holy ground.

I felt a deep sense of hurt in her eyes, a hurt that can't be healed in a few seconds in a school hall. a hurt that had manifested in anger towards her littles, a hurt that she didn't want to carry I'm sure, but none the less a hurt that has become normal, so she carries it anyways. That hurt, affects others. When I touched her, I prayed for her. In those moments, in my heart. I prayed that those littles would grow up to call her blessed.

When I picked up the three year old that wasn't going to get breakfast if I didn't hurry up, he leaned his head on my shoulder, and whispered, "bye mom, I love you."

She was to far down the hallway to hear it.

9:30 a.m.- I'm headed home in a snowstorm, driving 20mph, trying to find the road. God knew I needed to be there at that school despite the weather....  For my own good. For my own heart. For His glory.

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