hope

somethings about me never change. they are as constant as my favorite tree.

living a double life has never been my "style"

i am who i am no matter where i am.

so it's goofy of you to try to change me, and expect that i will be someone else.

while you pretend your better than me.

because on the outside we are all very neatly packaged and beautiful

but when we are opened up we are all a bit complicated and chaotic

so let me live where i live

drink where and when i want to drink

no one is super hero enough to change me except God.

and i'm pretty sure he don't be needing your help.

if you want to know me

talk to me

ask me

let's discover how we can make this work

there is a much bigger picture worth looking at

you have no idea how many times i get to

plant seeds because i'm not afraid to break the rules.

you have no idea because you don't ask.

when i come to you.. when i bring this subject up

it will be between you and me.

and maybe both of us will get to see a whole new friendship emerge.

and maybe the body will be healthier

because our differences will not be as important

as glorifying God.

i sure hope so.

Epic.

i'm hesitant to write today. it's an important day on so many levels. here's why...

#1....WHOOHOO!!!! it's my 100th post!! when i started this last january i was so sure i didn't have anything to share that was earth shattering, i was soooooo very scared to even push send, that first post just sat there for about 2 hours. funny, only when you go back and read the two sentences that i thought were so important. the most important thing however that has kept me going are the side comments either through facebook, or in texts, or in even in person. my words have been used, and for that i'm thankful. so, thanks for sticking around and living life with me, giving me grace and mercy to share with you my simple yet complex heart. thank you to you my readers... you make my day!

#2... it's Christmas Eve. that alone is enough for a post. but i actually feel i'm ready for Christmas.. i even have all my gifts wrapped! which is SO not like me.

#3... today we are having "epic" weather... apparently a foot of snow is quite unusual for Christmas Day... who knew?

#4... i woke up in another country. ok so not really. i still live here in the USA. but i'm not feeling it's so united. they passed health care reform this morning, and i believe and know it's wrong on so many levels. so i pray for so many that will have their eyes opened, if ever we get to actually read this bill they have voted on... and see the truth after the fact. it will change America, but not in the way we want. ultimately, i believe God will have the last say, and if this is one step closer to having Jesus come get me.... then i pray that i'm prepared to help my neighbor through what maybe our darkest time before our home-going.

well, i hope and pray that you have a fantastic time with your family.. and if you live in the midwest.. drive safe!

weekend in review.

retired after 37 years of work.

got mauled by the littlest cousins.

met the most beautifulest little in the whole world.

i secretly wanted to steal this one.

but this guy who i ran into at wally world after not seeing for

13 years, prolly would have had a major fit... daddy's tend to do that.

took middle world changer to a birthday party

played with birthday girls little brother at my house while party was in progress

met my cousins's new bride.. decided that i love her.

met the taco salad flinging champ of the weekend.

admired the ring of my lead singer's bff.

decided that praying and listening and talking all at the same time

gives you a REALLY big headache.

attended church while sitting at a table.

said later pater to our senior pastor and his family.

spent an afternoon with the youth group

and way too much money at the mall of america

listened to my vikings blow it.

and then crashed into a stupor to wake up and find this..

maybe i'll put some in their stockings.. or maybe i'll just smile more.

expecatations.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Just wanted to tell you that your amaxing. You gave us families here on earth. It was Your design, Your gift, Your plan. Please gently remind me that during this Christmas season it's Your plan that i should remain in You. I often get caught up in thinking thoughts that aren't from You. i pray Lord that you jolt me back to reality when i place expectations on people in my family that they can't fulfill. Families are important and i often take that for granted, and i confess that sin to you. Please give me new eyes and a new heart to be the wife, mother, daughter, sister, auntie, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, and grandchild that You want me to be. also, if it's not too much to ask, i pray that i don't break a bone sledding down the Boone hill today.. cause that would really stink. in your precious name.. amen.

today i feel.

i'm kinda irritated that this didn't turn out.

it started out as such a great idea.. then it immediately took a turn for the worse right from the get go. with magnets that didn't fit inside the outlines that i drew on my beloved amy butler scraps. i couldn't waste the fabric, nor could i go and purchase new magnets. i just needed to finish the gift. i'm so sad.

it was my birthday recently. and some of my favorite people

in the world gave me exactly what i always wanted.

it just doesn't get any happier than that.

Blizzard!

blizzards are a blast when you make yummy breakfast quickies to munch on.

then, of course you get to sew a apron.

but all in all, your very thankful for your daddy that comes and blows you free.

it's just potatoes.. right?

would you rather be

needed and not wanted?

or

wanted and not needed?

certainly a person doesn't need a certain 4 year old to belly up

to the sink to help peel potatoes for thanksgiving dinner.

in fact, it might prove messy, take tons of more time than necessary

and just plain frustrate you.

but....

if you allow him to have a job he can handle and even

just pretend you need him

he will most likely

not remember not being wanted or needed...

but instead

will remember being needed AND wanted.

i SO want to win ;)

Mama’s Holiday Wish List Meme
TodaysMama and Provo Craft are giving away a sleighful of gifts this holiday season and to enter I’m sharing this meme with you.

1. What 5 items are on your holiday wish list this year?

• warm slippers (no heat in my crafty/creating room... lovely old house feature.)
• fingerless mittens ( typing in the winter in my room is near impossible with frozen hands.)
• a day in a bookstore with a starbucks.. then i want a unlimited amount on a gift card to buy a few)
• a new ladle. (i just noticed the one and only one outside in the snow... )
• an unlimited supply of fabric from amy butler... yeah.. it's just that good.

2. What is your favorite handmade gift you have received?

• anything from my world changers.. they are too precious for words.

3. What handmade gift have you always wanted to tackle?

• this list is WAY too long. but i am chipping away at it one gift at a time.

4. What was the best Christmas gift you received as a child?

• my dad once gift wrapped a t-shirt in an egg carton. proudly wore my "i'm pushing pork" shirt.

5. What items are on your kid’s wish list this year?

• legos
• legos
• legos
• and they all put socks on it too.. they hate matching them when they come out of the dyer. new socks are easy to find matches for.

6. What is your favorite holiday food?

• my mother's christmas morning meal.. all of it.

7. What will you be hand-crafting for the holidays?

• if i told you here.. it would spoil ALL of my gift giving fun..

8. What is your favorite holiday movie?

• i don't have time for such.

9. Favorite holiday song?

• anything my world changer's school band plays, or my lead singer sings.

10. Favorite holiday pastime?

• Christmas Eve soup candlelight soup dinner at my house.

Click here to see an example.

Send us a link to your post to mailto:%20info@todaysmama.com with “Wish List Meme” in the subject line. You can even tag a few friends to participate in the meme. (Spread that holiday cheer!)

Thanks to all of our generous sponsors that helped make Mama’s Holiday Wishlist possible!

before i get busy with the day.

1 Chronicles 16:23-36

23 Sing to the Lord, all the earth!

Tell of his salvation from day to day.

24 Declare his glory among the nations,
his marvelous works among all the peoples!
25 For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised,
and he is to be held in awe above all gods.
26 For all the gods of the peoples are idols,
but the Lord made the heavens.
27 Splendor and majesty are before him;
strength and joy are in his place.

28 Ascribe to the Lord, O clans of the peoples,
ascribe to the Lord glory and strength!
29 Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;
bring an offering and come before him!
Worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness; [1]
30 tremble before him, all the earth;
yes, the world is established; it shall never be moved.
31 Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice,
and let them say among the nations, “The Lord reigns!”
32 Let the sea roar, and all that fills it;
let the field exult, and everything in it!
33 Then shall the trees of the forest sing for joy
before the Lord, for he comes to judge the earth.
34 Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
for his steadfast love endures forever!

35 Say also:

“Save us, O God of our salvation,
and gather and deliver us from among the nations,
that we may give thanks to your holy name,
and glory in your praise.
36 Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel,
from everlasting to everlasting!”

Then all the people said, “Amen!” and praised the Lord.

and that's how i feel about that.

laundry day!

sometimes you get "paid" for picking up the

middle world changer's laundry from her room.

Party!!

he called my mac a pumpkin.

he started out loving the scavenger hunt.

still loved it at the end.

he found out that God loves him, by making sure he got a case for his guitar.

(did i tell you that story? no?.. well, i'm sleepy so i'll tell ya later.)

happy birthday oldest world changer. i really really think your the bomb. ;)

November 21, 1999

Wow, your three years old. i can hardly believe it. times flies. let me tell you what you did today.

you woke at 6:17 am and asked me if you could take your birthday to church with you. i tried to get to say you were now three instead of two, but you kept saying three o'clock. it was so cute.

we went to grandma and grandpa's for dinner. aunt mary and uncle george, great grandpa and grandma spoon, great grandma fork, grandpa and grandma g, auntie robin, and auntie lori were there. it was really cute. we had scalloped potatoes, salad, and bread. i made a sunshine cake for you (cause you are my sunshine:) you hardly ate any food, but you did eat a rather large piece of cake.

you then opened tons of gifts. including clothes, a play store, train track, money, books, and a manga doodle. we had a great time just hanging out afterwards with everyone.

you didn't nap. you napped in the car on our way to church for choir rehearsal. you cried when we tried to leave you in the nursery.. so i kept you. you almost slept the whole time- until the end.

it was a great day! i'm so proud of you! what a blessing you have been.

love always,

mommy

*can i encourage you to write a bit every now and then in a book to your children.. you think you never forget.. this world changer is 13 today. more on that party later..............

this is NOT about you.

i'm not a hard woman to understand.

feed me at least one sweet a day, protect me from me, and laugh at me when i make stupid comments, oh and take me on vacations at least twice a year, and make sure you don't talk on the phone in the car, understand that i hate TV at any time of the day, let me go shopping with my sista's and my mom, buy me new clothes once in a while, entertain me when i'm talking about adopting siblings, know that a day at a library, book store, or fabric shop is like heaven, don't tell me i can't do anything, give me at least two choices, and don't eat anything in "my room", understand that i am horrible at details, and boring conversations make me sleepy. and most of all.. please remember that i can change my moods, feelings and plans on a dime and i expect to be accommodated on that. oh and i'd REALLY like the dustpan to stay with the broom.

see i'm pretty simple.

not funny.

there's nothing funny about finding this on the bathroom floor

among the dirty clothes.. nothing.

little buttons.

so i was out running for the past two mornings. and it's freeeezing out so i put on layers and layers, and then i put on my ipod. and layer some more. it's really quite the process.

now my particular ipod is actually my phone. and when a call comes in you can answer it, if your wearing the right head phones, the music fades and you hear the ringtone, then you press a little button on the headphones and your talking through that little button, and listening through your earphones. easy peasy. well, here's what i'm talking about...

see the difference? yah. that little button links you to the world when your layered up and out of breath when a call comes in. of course you hope that a call doesn't come in, but it often happens.

for the past two mornings i have had calls come in, and i was wasn't wearing the headphones with the button.. so i practically had to strip to answer the call, not to mention stopping to do it. just would have been easier for all involved, me.. to be using the little button headphones.. you know the one with the direct line.

Got me thinking that i'd like to have a constant little button on my thoughts for God. So available that i wouldn't have to take anything off to listen or talk to Him.. constantly available so when He says. "move" i would immediately hear him. when he says, "be still" i would hear and obey.... and continue running closer to Him.

Ode.

i use you. too much sometimes.

i adore you. when i have questions that i know you can answer.

i love you. when you give me clarity.

you captivate me with your words.

you inspire me to be better.

you frustrate me when i'm not hearing you.

you entertain me, frequently changing my "plans"

you convict me to be a better person

you are always one to listen

although sometimes i don't talk.

in fact, sometimes you don't have a pedestal in my home, and a place in my families life.

other things take your place, but still you wait

until i realize again that life without you is stressful because i have

no hope.

no peace.

no joy.

no happiness.

i love you my Jesus and my God.

even more than my mac.

ode.

i use you. too much sometimes.

i adore you. when i have questions that i know you can answer.

i love you. when you give me directions to unknown lands.

you captivate me with your words.

you inspire me to be better.

you frustrate me when your not working.

you entertain me.

you convict me to be a better person

you are always one to talk

although sometimes you listen.

you have a pedestal in my home, and a place in my families life.

life without you would simply be stressful because i would have to use a PC.

i love you my mac.

welcome!

well, it's about time i go public with my musings. If you just joined me on this journey.. please feel free to catch up by starting at the beginning. i do know it's a little inconvenient to read things backwards but it gives you an idea of where my heart for this blog lies, and why on earth i share some deep and personal things. so, please join me on this journey we call life, and excuse all my grammatical errors and mis speaks.... i write like a talk and sometimes i forget to breathe between sentences.

with that being said.. i hope we can still be friends after you read this stuff i write and think out loud...and live to share another happy day with each other.. at least in the virtual world!

humbly speaking real.

today, i'm skipping.

it's not that i WANT to skip this time that makes it different.

i think it's because i have worn out expecting that anything will be changing either inside me when i go. or inside you when you see me there. it's like i'm a huge white elephant in the room. no place to go. no place to serve. nothing to do, except hang out with those that don't want to serve or do anything but talk talk talk and drink coffee. and that wouldn't bother me on a normal day, except today is different, my kids wanted to go to church today.

and i can see absolutely no reason to take them.

i go to church to worship the God who can change people. a God to which i adore, who has shown me through some major tough times. i go to church because my absence would speak tons about the God i serve and love, and how he carries you through this sinful world. i go to church to show my kids that it's important and worthy.. so that my grandkids will set apart a day to worship and adore the same God their granny did.

i'm not going to church today, because i hate the person i become inside and i hate the person i'm forced to be on the outside when i'm there....and since i'm incessant on being real and honest in all situations... i'd rather not fake my love of church in front of my kids, or anyone else for that matter.

"with what shall i come before the Lord, and bow myself before God on high? Shall i come before him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousands of rivers of oil? Shall i give my firstborn for my transgressions, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He has told you, o man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" Micah 6:6

kelly's gone..

this blog has been taken over by an alien.. really.. kelly didn't write the below stuff.. really.. she would never tell it like she sees it.. never. it's totally uncharacteristic of her... really..

i'm not really one to complain about almost anything. really. you may think i complain, but i really don't.. check your memory.. but tonight.. after sitting with a few thousand? woman.. i really want to scream.. "HEY LET'S QUIT THE MAN BASHING!!!" it wasn't totally out of line.. really with all those women the one way to really get a giggle and a knowing nod is to mention how men are soooooo different from us.. so really it does have it's place.. i'm sure??... but after every single person said something negative.. i felt like.. um.. we are believers in God.. who are set apart.. supposed to ACT and BEHAVE different from the world.. and after all is said and done... i felt like i hadn't really worshiped the God who gave me a great and awesome lead singer.. i laughed at a God who created something so different.... and we'll i just felt like the "putter togethers" of this night could have really done a better job at lifting our eyes to the God that created those men completely different from us... and celebrate that.. cause i for one loooooooove that.

whew.. i'm done now.. off the soap box. if i get a chance i'll update tomorrow. there is a whole bunch of things i gotta learn about being a better mommy, and wife... oh and just in case you have seen the list of workshops.. i'm sooooo not stepping into the "what not to wear" one....and that will make my older sister and mom very sad.

today at happyday.

perfect day for happiness.

halloween happyday

make something happy today!

confession

i have a confession to make. well, it's not really that huge, so put down that phone to Fox News.

i haven't been into the Word daily for about 2 weeks.

It's not that i don't want to neglect it.

but it's that i'm too busy....there i said it. happy now?

really it hasn't been a priority.

sad.

super uber sad.

but it's a human reaction right? when things are going well, don't "rock the boat" and try to change it.

but i should be scared.

i should be.. because this is exactly the place where satan wants me.

i'm not forwarding the Kingdom.. so he leaves me alone.

blah.......................

i want to be worth an attack by satan.

shocked and slightly embarrassed at the obvious neglect of another happy day.

all i can say is that maybe i'm having to many

happydays and storytimes

or that...

the monsters have taken me away.

(thanks to no time for flashcards for the great craft

that over 30 littles got to experience!)

LOVES...

LOVE my "new" case for traveling..

LOVE that i got to spend some time with the lead singer AND the mountains.

perfect morning to have my new favorite cinnamon rolls.

(that's darci, the lead singer's baby sis.. LOVE her)

i LOVE seafood and pasta.

ok that's a totally funny pic of me,

but i LOVE that i got to hold those twins for a bit.

(also, got to spend time with a college friend

and her adorable babies.. LOVED that.)

stopping by!

i wonder if people who live in the mountains are ever desensitized by the scenery.

if so, it would be a very sad day.

issue.

i have an issue. it's not a huge one, but it's big enough that i'm wondering what on earth i'm supposed to be doing about it. knowing, of course that me doing something about it.. will result in nothing being done about it.

for today however, i'll play a tad.. then i'll pack... cuz mr lead singer is going to whisk me away for a 5 day vacation in the mountains and maybe in that space where God talks to me in my heart. i'll be able to be still long enough to listen to Him.. so i can do something when i return.

1973

Fed Ex- AC/DC- Roe v. Wade- Pink Floyd -Godfathers Pizza - all established in 1973. i have been on the search for a t-shirt that says "established in 1973" cause well, that's the year i was established.. i know weird..but really its justa thing i've been looking for.

so, i am doing my prep work for small group and diving into the psalms. and i find this..READ it.. don't skip it.. READ slowly.. don't gloss over ONE SINGLE WORD!!

When my soul was embittered, when i was pricked in heart,

i was brutish and ignorant; i was like a beast to you.

Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.

Whom have i in heaven but you? and there is nothing on earth that i desire besides you.

(you reading slowly????)

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;

you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.

But for me it is good to be near God;

i have made the Lord my God my refuge,

that i may tell of all your works.

Psalm 73:21-26

who needs a silly old t-shirt??

i got psalm 73.

playing again.

what do you get when you wrap your grandma's yarn rapidly around a cardboard piece?

apples of course, so much fun! you can find the original idea here!!

as if those apples weren't sweet and cute enough...

we made play dough that smelled like mulled cider.

(you can find that here!)

so much fun today at happyday!

what are you doing fun to make your own happyday!?!?