reflecting

i'm starting this small group on sunday nights. i feel a tad bit out of place due to the fact that i'm the only one in there that hasn't been involved for 6 years. so i'm the newbie.. i'm a bit perplexed at the study material and the goal of it all, but i think that's ok. i am a visionary.... if we are going there.. i've been there in my mind and heart already... So in this instance i feel a bit of relief that i have no clue. i'm blindly following with my eyes open the leader of the small group. he used to be on staff with me and a man who i admire and look up to as a follower of Christ.

in our first week, the assignment is to write a letter telling when we first felt God's presence, and what are some ways God has revealed himself to us since then. So, after writing the letter i felt like i should share it with you all.. (which is all 7 of you who "follow"..heehee) .. so enjoy getting to know a bit more about who i am..

when i was growing up my parent’s made it a point to make sure i was at church every sunday. it was a non-negotiable. i was just always there, luckily it was only a sunday morning kinda church, because i quickly realized that the “real” church in my brain happened at a local bible camp.

it was at this camp that i surrendered my heart to God practically every summer beginning in the 3rd grade. it was the constant urging of the Holy Spirit that i felt to become more like Christ even at a early age. One year however, i felt that urging a bit more.

i remember it was on a tuesday night at camp, it wasn’t even the night that they shared the Gospel and they make you cry.. (which i found our later was their whole goal..) we had just wrapped up our cabin’s devotions and i for some reason began questioning everything that i knew to be true. I remember clearly thinking “how do we know that God exists.” i went somewhere to be alone, but God answered my distress by bringing a lady into my life, Bonnie. Funny thing is i don’t remember anything we talked about that night, just that we talked. And in the morning, she was there to talk again. Then, every time i went back to camp.. she was there asking and inquiring about my relationship with God.

Since then, God has reveled to me so very much that i hold dear and close to my heart. it’s not a small thing when you see God working in your life.. it in fact, is addicting and drives me to become closer to Him constantly, so that i can feel and know that He still finds me useful and available.