learned obedience..

i read something last night that rocked my world. 

the reason Jesus was led to and through the crucification was that he needed to learn something.

Huh?

always thought Jesus was one of those guys who knew everything.. geeze.. his Father.. is GOD!!

so anyways... buried deep in the book of Hebrews... is this verse.

"Although He was a Son, 

He learned obedience 

from the things He suffered."

Hebrews 5:8

the Son (my Jesus) learned to obey His  Father, even when that included dying.  Only a crucifixion could provide that classroom. He learned an obedience He had never known before.

this isn't the type of "go here. do that obedience."  it's more. deeper. its all things, being given.. yielded if you may.

i am quite certain the garden of Gethsemane was a tough place to be. it was a time where Jesus.. kinda "duked it out" with God.  Where Jesus pleaded so much with God he sweat blood.

so Jesus.. pleaded with God to "make another way".. but God still took his son through his own crucification.  

tough stuff to deal with for sure.

but this i also know... 

When you have yielded your will to the worst thing that can happen, there is nothing larger out there!  There just is not anything waiting out there to destroy you that is greater than a bloody, unfair crucifixion.

and that gives hope to the crucified..  

not good on details remember???

for the past 3 weeks i have been talking to my sister about heading to the zoo today. my youngest and her oldest don't have school do to roundup for new kindergartners. 

remember how i'm not very good at details?

yah, i sent my tracer to school... 

scarring him for life. and becoming "that mother" of the school district.

i bet the teachers have bets on which kid will show up despite not having school.  

so... i sent my other half to go pick him up and we will spend the day draggin out every lego we own.

and the zoo?

yah.. not today.

i have these elaborate plans sometimes that only work in my head.

i get lost in the details.

good thing life is a journey.

you can wander around being lead by an unknown source... or you can be lead by God.

i prefer God.

He's not at all random. He's great at details. He has a plan.

and even though i'm lost on the details.

He has shown me the big picture.

i'm trying to trust Him with the details.

"The latter glory of this house shall be greater that the former, says the LORD of host. And in this place I will give peace, declared the LORD of hosts."  Haggai 2:9

i had my first parent teacher conference last night. God bless those teachers. they deserve the day off after 100 hour days to prepare for them. 

however, 

i looked at this one a bit different. i had been homeschooling for 2 years prior to putting the kids back in school in january.  so i was a bit apprehensive to hear over and over again, "they were behind, but they have caught up,"  (cause you know that i know that my kids are smarties..and completely adjustable...)

i had to keep thinking .. it's all about the kids.. it's not about what we did and what we didn't cover.  it's about where they are now. and where they need to be, and how i can help more at home.  become informed. right?

deep breath,  it's only about an hour. you can make it.

and i did.

my kids are great. 

my kids are "all caught up"

my kids "adjusted well"

my kids are learning.

whew.

good.  

i'm not sorry for homeschooling my kiddos...not one bit. they ( and i ) learned things that they needed. now the public school can teach them a few more things. and i will be ok with that. because i do not regret a minute of  homeschooling.

forgiveness.

So ... i made this yesterday for a friend.. it's a bit too sexy for practical wear.. but for frosting a birthday cake it's perfect!

while finishing it up. i clipped the final string to cut it lose from the machine.. and i cut to fast. and i clipped the apron string..

i was (and still am) spitting mad. i had to come up with a quick fix.. but you can see it. which is frustrating to me.

Not to be tooo fanatically Biblical.. but it immediately made me think that when God creates something beautiful in your life.. and you don't allow time for Him finish the work on His time table.. you end up with holes and scars.. that can be healed.. yes.. but will always be there.

yet another lesson i need to learn... 

John 20:23

DO.....

i had a thought this morning... and it started out little as most thoughts do. but then it just kept going and going.. 

a couple of years ago i was invited to take part in a mission trip to Columbia. to help in a children's home.  going with nobody i knew... it was an adventure for sure!  

so.. it started like this... 

i wonder what's going on in africa this morning?. (random in know.. but i have friends over there right now..)

oh i love to travel.

i would love to go to africa.

i love mission trips.

i would have never gotten to go on my mission trip if it weren't for this lady at our church..

who the MORNING the money was due, wrote me a check for the exact amount i needed to go.

she is an incredible woman of God.. 

so that got me thinking... do i listen to the Spirit when i hear it?

if i DO listen... i get to have a chance to help change a life.. or a few.. 

if i DO NOT listen.. i miss an incredible opportunity to grow in a deeper relationship with the Creator.. and bless a bro or sis... 

 be a "DO".... simple.

a free giggle...

lest you think i'm boring.. 

last night i had a ladies night out.. so my  hubby is at home.. and decided to text me.

his message was quite explicit.. (please read into that. *wink wink....)

but BEFORE he sent it to me..

he sent it to another friend from church.. (11 raise Jesus!!1).. it was a man...

who calmly texted back...

"have fun with that"

and now you can giggle too....

i wrote this to you.. from me??? (i must be sick :))

sometimes you freak me out.

you do this.. you teach me things like

when to dance.. and when to sit and watch.

when to love and when to let go.

when to shut up and when to stay silent.

when to cry and when to giggle

how to apologize.. heck when to apologize

how to lean and how to stand.

how to receive and how to give.

when to say or do hard things. 

when to do nothing.

you are really important in my life.

you are the friend that i currently have "amaxing" inside jokes with...

you are the friend that joins me again on my journey after a long pause.

you are a  treasure that i keep close. 

i love you.

and feel honored that you would take time out of your day to bless me by reading things that i randomly think about. or that God has been teaching me.  

even IF your scared to become a "follower"  .. i still love you. 

crucified...

i'm sure you don't think about it very often.. i didn't.. and still not sure yet if i will on a regular basis..

however, life being what it has been for a while now.. 

i've been re-reminded about WHO actually did crucify my Jesus.

it's not who you would think at first.. 

people. right? 

then.

satan himself.  

but few.. ever take it back to

God. 

God allowed that to happen.. all of it.. 

HE orchestrated it all.  

He knew all the people involved. 

Knew the words, and the actions that took place..

it was God.

Hard to swallow for sure, but necessary to understand that in order to become what God wants me to become.. I need to follow in Jesus' example of being lead to my own crucifixion. 

 Willing.

 Open.

 Trusting the Orchestrater to strip me to nothing to become the something that can be used by Him.

it will hurt.

it will stink.

it will be horrible.

but..

beautiful.

hmmm.... out loud processing... sorry

so i go to bible study today.. brand new one for a beth moore one.. i was soo excited. love beth moore... 

i get there.

and go to my room.

oh my goodness.. i forgot my coffee... 

go back out in the lobby area.. then i notice something

2 ladies.. going down the hall.

young ladies.. possible late 20s?... trendy and fun looking.. i was drawn to them.

so i ask the lady in charge  " did you split all the younger ladies and the older ladies?"

she said "yep"

UGHHHHH!!!!

i'm an older lady.

WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN!!??!!

When we first started going to our church i was the youngest by at least 8 years. infact, i know the day that another younger mother started to attend.  that was a sad day.

WHEN did i get sooo hung up with age?  

i should embrace it.... because with age, comes wisdom.. if you ask for it and seek it.

oh man... PLEAZE let me be a wise woman someday...  

but lets not rush the "old" part... 

commitment

i have been sewing a ton lately.. and having no money to go out and buy new fabric, i have to settle for the mountain of scraps in my own stash. it's been fun to see what combinations that i can come up with.. kinda like a closet of clothes "which one goes together the best sorda thing..."

until i come to my mom's stash. Her fabric stash is filled to the brim with fabrics from when i was a little chick, and she sewed most all of my good clothes, and also fabrics from my both my grandma's. soooo they are my favorite..
love to look at them.
and play with them.
and touch them.
feel them...
imagine what they could be...

then i usually,

put them back in the box where they came from.

sounds silly i know. why on earth would i put my favorite back in the box and not let the world see it..

commitment.

if i sew with it. it has to become something.

and it might not be perfect.

so i don't use it.

it sits in the box. to be used by someone else in another time and place.

until...

i jump. until days like today. when i feel brave enough to use some.

i don't know whats so special about this day.. except that God made it and allowed me to grow closer to Him... while sewing..

and me finally deciding that to use the beautiful to create something..

might not result in the beautiful "perfect object" outcome that i desire.

but maybe I might become the most beautiful thing through the process.

and thats definatly worth it in the end.



"Not that i have already obtained this or am already perfect, but i press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own." Philippians 3:12.