give me love...

happy 3rd birthday sweet lala.

(yes a day late...but it's me, the auntie that's bad at details..)

deep.

my oldest world changer loves caves. his grandma took him and the lead singer to one this summer and he's still talking about it.

my youngest world changer dug a hole outside the house (under the bushes, thank goodness) at it's deepest when he steps inside it, it comes to his waist. his eyes are bright with the possibilities of "digging to china."

there's just something about going deep that is appealing.

the word deep means. well, i was going to tell you, but when i googled it there is 41 variations to the word. can you imagine 41 ways to use a word? no wonder people really can't describe what "going deep with God" looks like.

to some it's learning the bible in the original language.

others it's just getting to church on time.

to some it's attending seminary.

others it's their wednesday morning bible study.

to some it's spending hours reading God's Word

others it's the daily devotional conveniently located in the bathroom

but really. what's going deep with God really boil down to?

love.

does whatever your going deep into lead you into a consistent awareness of His love for you?

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

sharpened.

a few weeks back, i was talking to a brother. i was lamenting to him the fact that all these ministries needed people and here i sit. waiting to be asked. so he asked me.. "i think it's time for you to get back into the game, where do you want to serve?"

and i cried. and i have no idea why. still don't. in fact, it still makes me deeply saddened.

it was then that God showed me the verses in Isaiah 41:9b-10.

i'm already chosen. i'm already serving. i needed to hear that.

it would seem that his question was totally void of feeling for my own internal issues. it was just a brother trying to help out a sister in Christ, but what he asked was exactly the thing i needed to hear to find the Truth of the where i wanted to serve God. For that i'm eternally grateful.

next came you, a dear friend who has seen the hurt and heartache from almost the begining of serving outside the walls of the church. you asked another question. "can you serve mommies?" Yeah, i can. i totally can. it's something that i think i could do rather well, and i get excited about the possiblilities of hanging out with you and other moms i know and love.

then, that question becomes null and void, almost as if you never asked it. the spots been filled, taken, not mine. i cry. i again feel helpless in the battle for good and evil. rejected.

it would seem to you that you have done me a disservice, by asking me to serve. that i need to forgive you for something, i do not. you didn't hurt me. you helped me.

you helped me realize that Isaiah 41 is truely true. i'm already chosen, already serving.

and then it hits me. this is what iron sharpening iron really looks like.

no washer, no dryer. but i have lemons!

when life hands you lemons,

make lemon cookies and share your troubles with a good friend.

i picked a friend that lives far away on purpose.

so i could eat all the cookies.

(and i'm again thankful for the neighbors

who let me wash and dry clothes yet AGAIN at their house..)

here's the recipe for those little darlings up there.. man, they are GOOD, but they aren't your normal after school snack. nope, i'd hide these until the kids all went to bed then brew some tea and just sit and do nothing.

Lemon Lover's Cookies

3/4 cup butter, softened

3 Tb sugar

2 tea lemon juice

1 cup flour

1/2 cup cornstarch

1 tea grated lemon peel

in a small bowl, cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 5 min. beat in the lemon juice. combine the flour corn starch, and lemon peel. gradually add to the creamed mixture and mix well.

shape dough into a 1-1/2 in. roll; wrap in plastic and refrigerate 1 hour or until firm. unwrap and cut into 1/4 inch slices/ place 2 inches apart on ungreased baking sheet. bake at 350 or 10-12 minutes. cool for 3 minutes before removing to wire racks to cool completely.

FROSTING... the YUMMMMIEST part!

1/4 cup butter, softened

1 cup powered sugar

2 tea lemon juice

1 tea grated lemon peel

in a small bowl beat butter until fluffy all the rest of ingredients and beat until smooth. spread over cooled cookies.. and of course put some peels for decoration on top!

flight risk.

no doubt you've been to a funeral when the pastor recites Psalm 23. so when i say "the Lord is my Shepard; i shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me besides still waters." you have heard it. but did you ever stop to think.. WHY on earth would He make me LIE DOWN in green pastures? i'd personally would much rather enjoy a bed.

three things i know for certain.

1. a pasture is a safe place
2. a pasture is a simple place
3. a pasture is a sanctuary

safe because a shepherd was always there. a guard over the livestock. that shepherd made sure the livestock had everything needed to sustain life. for HIS purpose, whatever that may be. That shepherd's joy and livelihood was protecting his flock.

a pasture consists of grass, hopefully a nearby water source, and livestock. three things. that's it. simple.

sanctuary is defined as a place where the livestock live. this pasture, was home.

if i claim to be a sheep and that Jesus is my Shepherd. i need this pasture. i need safety, i need simplicity, and i need a home. Jesus know what i need, and today, well for this moment at least, i'm resting in that pasture. it's a long day.. i might try to escape and go my own way.. but for sure my Shepherd will always come looking for me. maybe that's why i have to lie down??? i'm not such a flight risk then.

dollop.

a small lump, portion, or amount.

• been busy cleaning the house. man, it's easy to say it's clean, but a whole other thing to actually go look and see for yourself. if being off Facebook has done one thing, it's made me face the state of my house... holy smokers. yesterday, i got the upstairs mostly clean.. still have windows before we totally cover them all in plastic for the winter.. i hate that, but old farm houses require it, unless you run around 24/7 in your snowsuit to stay warm.

• walked out to take the kids to school yesterday. the chickens were sitting on my doorstep, which you recall is normally the cat's area... at least a chicken can fly when i kick it. cats... well, never mind.

• i picked this book up in a hurry, a girl needs to have her hair colored at my age, and i have one of those fantastic hairdressers that just let me sit and read. love that. i was really surprised that i actually liked this book. it's about the cycle of domestic abuse. some painful things to read, but the author really does a great job of helping you picture the abuse, and also the ending.. which i'm not going to spoil. it is a true story, which makes it difficult to read at times, but ya know, although abuse is never ok. i know some pretty special people in my life that have broken the abuse cycle in their own families with God's help. All in all, it's just a great reminder that people deal with "stuff" that might be different than your "stuff", but it doesn't make them any different in the eyes of the Creator.

• the BEST cake i have ever eaten. not because it's made from a box, or that the frosting is in the right places.. it's because the baker and artist of this particular cake is an amazing woman of God who sells herself short all the freaking time. and i just want the world to know that she's one of the most beautiful women i know and love, but i'm sorry you can't eat a piece of the cake.. it was yummmy.

book snob.

i have a few rules when it comes to books.

#1 they have to be new

#2 no paperbacks

#3 they have to be new

#4 i love new authors

reason's #1 and 3 is probably why i love to work at the library. in fact, i'm such a book snob that if someone has even read the book once.. i'll look for the CD of it and listen to it. it's hard to be me sometimes.

so yesterday at work, because i couldn't play scrabble with Daisyman in Facebook world, i decided to read a few pages of the new Sparks book.... knowing that i'd never pick it up to read it once it hit the shelf, because... #1 and #3 rules just have to be obeyed.

i finished reading it this morning at 5:27. would i recommend it? totally.

little word, big deal.

We expect our children to obey. Even to the point of missing out on fun stuff or privileges if they don't obey. We as citizens of a country are expected to obey it's laws. If you chose not to there is a consequence. Even being a child of God comes with rules, and things that if you just don't do you'll save yourself a ton of headaches. such as these..

"if you hear his voice.. follow"

"love... the Lord your God."

"believe... and you will be saved."

actually all those verses boil down to one word.

obedience.

how come that word is SO hard to use?? prolly because every part of my soul screams that i have a CHOICE! and i do, a choice to continue to not engage in life around me when the kids are home, the choice to checkout and play bejewled blitz till i get to be the top dog, the choice to be friends with someone or not, the choice to actually feel as though the world loves me and my words that i use.

then God showed me these.

"if you utter what is precious, and not what is worthless,

you shall be as my mouth. Jer 15:19

" let the words of my mouth and the meditations

of my heart be acceptable in your sight" Ps 19: 14

"and Samuel grew, and the Lord was with him

and let none of his words fall to the ground." 1 Samuel 3:19

so, this fasting from facebook for 12 weeks is just me being obedient to a God who loves me and wants my words to matter.. for eternity. it's really just that simple.

bye bye for a time.

it's been fun catching up on all my friends across the land, but it's time i move my brain from thinking about catchy one liners and updates, to things of importance. things that last, like close friends that actually talk to you face to face, yes, that means using the phone a bit more, and i HATE that phone, but i think this will be good, hard but good.

so goodbye Facebook for a while. we will see if i miss ya come 12 weeks from today. and i promise i'm not replacing you with laundry.... no worries about that.

13 Little Blue Envelopes

i work at the local library.. did i ever tell you that? i'm sure you figured it out somewhere on this journey we are taking. many times, no , in fact, lots of times young adult readers ask me for recommendations on good books. normally i don't read that genre. but since i consider it my job to point people away from really wasting their time on a bad book, i decided that i should in fact read a few.

so i picked this one up yesterday.

it's an alright read. the main character is Ginny, who has this dead aunt who is leading her across Europe with tasks that are found in these envelopes. it's a pretty simple plot and the characters aren't really developed (one of the main reasons i don't read young adults....) but all in all it was a great book.

the cover is REALLY misleading, which is sad, because Ginny talks a ton about wearing the wrong clothes that look touristy and how she hates that. but sex sells, even books, so they put a half naked chick on the cover.. sad.

i'd recommend this book for 14 or older, the tour you receive around Europe is worth the read.

ummm...

how do you tell a manly rooster from a girly one?

i'm not too proud to tell you that i have no clue.

i got me 8 ladies the post said.. but it SHOULD have said i have 7 ladies and one very very macho hairy man.. but i think maybe i wanted my lead singer to have that title??

but i was told if you want eggs, "you be needin a rooster".

my dreams were to have this vicious creature that hunts down things like he's in the mafia. but he's just well, not. he's a cutie, and really nice. which doesn't fit into my "i wanna rooster that will eat cats" theory. the cats in fact, could care less that this mean and nasty creature has taken up residence on this wanna be farm.

he is quite bashful. which is irritating to me in an odd way.

so this rooster he needs a name. and i'll entertain any that you pitch to me. and if i pick your name.. i'll send you a few cats as a prize. so make sure you enter often!!

your day.

today, i promise i won't holler at you to clean up your mess.

i will make you a cake.

i will let you grill steak and potatoes for dinner.

and let you watch 30 movies if you want.

it's your day... enjoy!

happy birthday to my forever and ever.

introducing....

the ladies.