flippant heart.

well, it's been a year and instead of my short posts.. i thought i'd give you the 411 on my heart and be completely honest with you about my thoughts and feelings on the matter. don't worry it's a cause for celebration.. and it's a little longer!

last year on this date i was fired from one of my dream jobs as a children's ministry director at a church i had been attending for 10 years. all 10 of those years i was deep in ministry there, and the last (almost) 5 years i was in a paid position. thats 10 years of wearing the "help out in the nursery" sticker on my forehead. which believe it or not doesn't help in the making and keeping friends department.

i loved my job, and if you ask anyone who worked directly with me on a daily basis, i was good at it, and it God was blessing our ministry together in soooo many ways.

until, january (might have been later) of 08. this is when my salary was cut almost half because i wasn't "doing summer programming".. and the church needed to cut back on expenses. that was hard, but i delt with it. the fusion team however, decided on their own that they should continue with ministry (even after serving an every sunday in the school year including holidays 9 months). So that meant that i needed to run a preschool program, and after many prayerful nights it was clear to me that i was the one to run that ministry for the summer. so, salary cut, i chose to continue to do ministry the way God wanted me to.. more of it.

but that apparently wasn't enough.

i was fired on july 1, 2008.

reasons being. i was insubordinate and flippant. (which i totally am.)

i wasn't running a summer program (which i totally was.)

i wasn't getting enough leaders to lead key positions.

i was forced to "not talk" for about 3 months, (sucked a ton of suckers...)

and i was not to serve in children's ministry again. (which hurt the most)

they sent a letter to the congregation. informing them of the change. just so "no one thinks kelly did anything immoral."

after i was fired, they got 4 ladies to do my job. which makes me smile.. :)

then they hired 2 of those ladies to do exactly what i was doing.. and ministry has never been better there at that church. they do a great job, i'm certain of that.

so i lost my job, i can survive that.

but what i wasn't so sure i could survive was the loss of practically everything.

friends especially. relationships with the kids, and parents. and my ministry.(this still hurts tremendously.)

i dove into the Word and God has been confirming ever since that i will have peace at that church. (my lead singer is still neck deep in ministry- so technically it's still our church)

so a year later.. i can honestly say i'm happier, stress free, and learning and loving the Word of God on a deeper level then i would have ever thought. yah it could have gone down a WHOLE lot different. Churches are full of sinful people, me included. i own my part.

but i'm happy i got to serve the church in the capacity i did for so long. it was a huge blessing in my life. and i wouldn't have it changed at all. it has helped shaped me and mold me for God's purposes, and He is the only person i'm subordinate to..

and that is enough of that.....