because.. i love you.

I'm finding it hard to use words to describe how amazing my God is today, 

so please bear with my inadequacies and wordiness about me. ;)

__________________________________________

2 years ago I was called out of full time ministry and I thought life was over. To top it off, God never gave the Lead Singer or I any indication that we needed to switch churches.  That meant I needed to learn to live in this church community, which meant I needed to take some huge scary steps. Like

• walk through the church doors every week,
• smile and not cry at people when I saw them, 
• even say hi to some folks, 
• seek forgiveness and give forgiveness,
• learn to accept friendships that were based in ministry dwindle down to a simple hello.
• and most importantly to lean heavily into God's Word. 

Thank goodness I didn't have to walk this walk alone, God made sure there was a hand to grab at every intersection and every growth point. In many ways, just by you reading this now is a testimony to your willingness to hold my hand through healing.  Many times Another Happy Day has been my sounding off point on this journey, God knew over two years ago, when I woke up and was instructed to tell what was on my heart, that you as a reader needed to join me on this journey. 

This morning, I go to church and a brother in Christ approaches me. He simply asked if I would be able to help serve communion. I'm in tears writing this, simply because I feel that there had been a hedge around me for two years, and God hasn't even allowed me to even be asked to serve by anyone. 

Until today. 

Waiting in back with the elements listening to God's Words concerning communion from our pastor, it hits me.  I'm standing there, holding a representation of His Body, and I get to serve. Tears spring from my eyes, and I need to regroup before I bawl all over everyone's cracker, so I turn around and place them on the table behind me, only to find the same brother that asked if I would serve, see my tears, find a napkin, and wipe my cheeks. Of course.. even in my serving I needed someone to hold my hand!

What an intimate thing it is to serve communion. Servers get to hand people the Body and the Blood of Christ. In the same way that Jesus handed the same elements to those around the table. 

Oh my heart over fills with the desire to praise Him! He knew! He knew when I woke up this morning that I was going to be blessed in this way.. I bet he had all his angels around Him nudging them saying, "Watch this, I'm going to bless my daughter big time this morning,and I want you to see, I'm so proud of her!" 

"Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you."

Isaiah 43:4a

Knowing I'm loved enough for Him to even care where I serve inside this church blows me away. He chose me to serve. He chose me to be called out of ministry so He could bless me more than I would have noticed before. God lead me on this hard path, to be close to Him on this day. He gets the glory. He gets the praise. I just get to bask in the blessing.. and I'm way ok with that. 

focus focus focus

It's easy to do from your camera.  

All you have to do is hit auto focus, and wow. 

All your pictures turn our hunky dorey. 

Point and Shoot. 

Easy peasy lemon squeezy. 

Perfectly focused images all the time.

The struggle begins when you find out there is more to life than auto focus.

When you have the tools to actually manipulate what your images actually look like.

and you start learning and you very quickly find out that you need to practice

 using those tools you have for proper focus.

often times you will fail. badly.

sometimes, the thing your focusing on is in motion 

and you realize it shouldn't have even been a focal point anyways.

and then there are the times when your focus just plain stinks. 

 You must stop what your doing and hit rewind 

and go back to the basics of training yourself how to manually focus.

"My eyes are ever toward the Lord,

 for he will pluck my feet out of the net." 

Psalm 25:15

He requires something of us, 

every day,

 every hour, 

every minute, 

every second. 

Never did He say life would be simple and on auto focus.

He simply said, I'll help you out of the net your going to be in. 

He wants your focus to be on Him, and Him alone.

and yes, that takes training, practice, time, energy, and dare I say work? 

the simple view of you.

It was just glue and paper, the most basic of supplies.

The conversation centered around the personality of their creation,

and that lead them into naming their creation.

It's amaxing to me how a name speaks a life into glue and paper. 

Just like a name speaks life into dirt.

 The simplest of supplies that the Creator had. 

I can just see Him being just as intent 

forming each 

personality, 

body,

and soul

 as a little does creating an owl.

I wonder if He has a "creating face." the face that says,

I'm deep in thought here.. maybe his tongue peeks out in concentration.. 

or He has the angels sing softly... 

Creating humans is His job, and He's an expert at creating things He loves.

 An then as a token of His love and affection.

 He gives you a name. 

A name that describes your inner most being. 

A name that defines you in his eyes.

A name that gives Him glory.

He calls you "Mine."

"Fear not, for I have called you by name, you are mine." 

Isaiah 43:1 

You are His.

(Yes, even if your name is Purple.)

structure.

Structure creates what you know and how you live.

Structures decide if you are growing, if your melting or if you'll remain frozen where you are.

The structure you have in place has ultimate control of your thoughts, feelings, and soul. 

everything has a structure.. it's how He made it, even if it's recognizably wonky. 

It's still got a structure from which it relies for life.

The best part of knowing this, about structures that is.. is that they can change.

and yes, it might take a mighty effort on your part to release an unhealthy structure your leaning on.

 But there is a morning coming when you will realize that the structure that you are now walking with 

is the one He planned for you all along.

Holy Spirit, Truth divine, 

Dawn upon this soul of mine;

Word of God and inward light, 

Wake my spirit, clear my sight.

Holy Spirit, love divine,

Glow within this heart of mine;

Kindle every high desire, 

Burn up self in thy pure fire.

-M.E. Coles

stored hope

It's my oldest world changer's job to fetch the corn for the corn stove that heats our house. The Lead Singer has gathered a bazilion 5 gallon buckets for him to fill at one time so the frequency to the corn bin is less.  

It's a great plan, more work at one time, then you forget about it until you need some more corn. But that's not what the world changer does. 


He's into the one bucket at a time journey. Which drives the Lead Singer crazy, but the world changer knows that the corn will always be there when he needs it and we really only need two buckets a day to heat our house. 


Realizing that he can't carry more than one bucket. He just simply prefers to do this chore daily. His theory is that the corn will never run out so why do all the work to store it up somewhere else. 

There is a place that hope is stored too.  It's saved. It's waiting. It's set apart. Just for you.  No gimmicks, no free with purchase offers, it's just there, stored. Waiting for you to come get it. 

Take all you can carry.  It's a never ending source, and it's ok if you drop some on the ground while you gather what you need. That hope will nourish the ones who stumble upon it, those not strong enough to carry their own buckets yet. 

and when you leave the storehouse of hope 

with your bucket for the day, you will find that in time that hope in your bucket has changed

 into a faith in God that is strengthened and

 a love for all that God created because 

Hope doesn't just mitigate everything. It annihilates everything. 

That's just what hope does.. real hope changes you.  

"the faith and love that spring from 

the hope that is stored up for you in heaven..."

Colossians 1:4

sweet melodies.

shhhhhhhh. 

Be very quiet. 

Stop what your doing,  even if just for a moment and listen. 

Do you hear?? 

"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save;

he will rejoice over you with gladness;

he will quiet you by his love;

he will exult over you with loud singing." 

Zephaniah 3:17

Is there anything sweeter than knowing that the Creator of the universe

 humbles himself enough to sing over you?

and not just any singing... LOUD singing.

Just in case your hard of hearing, I suppose.  

bokeh... maybe.

She tells me to learn about bokeh.

So, I googled it, of course. 

Bokeh is basically blur, out of focus, except it's done on purpose, and  it's 

highly effective in making whatever you want to stand out and be seen clearly.

A contrast so big that you can't miss that which you are to meant to see.

How cool would it be if God saw the people on earth in bokeh? 

" The Lord looks down from heaven on the children of man, to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God."
Psalm 14:2

magnitude.

The Lead Singer held out on me. 

I'm not mad, but after asking him a few more questions about his Nikon, I know now about an important button. the Fstop.  yeah.. it's a pretty important one. I'm still learning of course. I haven't even begun to figure out white balance and ISO, or are they the same thing?  Ugh, learning a new skill of this magnitude takes time, I know. 

  He's so good to help my brain learn a new skill.  He doesn't get why I even want to learn, but he teaches anyways.  My own why becomes clearer as I listen to him and spend time in the snow.

It's painting.

It's communication.

It's worship.

 and as I'm outside in frigid weather I begin to wonder. 

Will I ever look at snow the same way again? 

 I hear whispers of my Creator in my almost frozen shut ear.

"The hairs of his head were white like wool, 

as white as snow." Revelation 1:14

My Jesus. My Savior. My Deliverer. 

White as snow in appearance. 

Perfect. Spotless. 

Covering all that surrounds me.

and as I stand there gasping for the words to give back to Him. 

"Oh my soul magnifies the Lord" 

was all I could come up with. 

but somehow, when I realize

 the magnitude of white around me. 

those words just seem appropriate. 

a hairy bit of joy.

 I was awaken with a sense that He wanted to meet me there. Out there in the cold. Away from life here at the farm. Just me and Him, and he says.. " grab a camera. I have things I want to show you."  

Gathering the Lead Singer's Nikon, I trudge out in the cold.. wandering around. Looking for what God would have me see.  I drive slow, try to notice everything. I don't want to miss it.  

And I did take pictures, lots. And I'm certain that you'd want to see them..if only iphoto would let me have them.  So until the thoughts can be mustered up into words that won't fall away void.  I'll show you a piece of joy that iphoto will give up....

 

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; 

you have loosed me sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, 

that my glory may sing Your praise and not be silent.

 O Lord my god, I will give thanks to you forever!" Psalm 30 11-12

the subtle difference

The red dress never had to panic as I picked the fabric off the bolt at the store.

It never had to worry if it would get changed, or renewed. 

all it had to do was allow me the rebuilder to rebuild it.

and wow I sucked at that job.

In fact, the red dress wreck is now in the trash.

 After tearing and sewing more than any other article I have ever sewn. 

It's done. 

I can't make it beautiful. 

I tried.

The green skirt is my grandma's fabric, i think. might have been my mom's, but the point is.

It's been sitting in a box, comfortable. safe and secure. happy.

Until I found it yesterday and you can call me crazy, 

but I really did hear it scream and panic when I took the scissors to it.

 It was fabric, but it became so much more, 

just because I as the creator had a purpose and a plan.

not to rebuild the fabric from a pattern,

but to create something that I needed and could use.

The green skirt was scared, and confused. weak.

until all the cutting and sewing was all over. 

 Now it's the green skirt that's in the closet of the creator, to be worn and used. 

and the red dress wreck is in the trash, gone forever. 

"Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness, and the rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:19

introducing.... miss maude.

This little owl is on the docket to be joined with the rest of the flock created by littles during the winter park and rec class I'm lucky enough to teach. Can you see 15 of these little owls slowly being made by little artists age 3 or 4? I'm excited about the personalities actually.... Miss Maude was just told that the path to her greatest potential was going to be through her greatest fear. 


Can you see fear in her face? Nope me either. I see courage, faith, and wonder.  Personally I think she's asking if she's wearing the right clothes for the journey. What girl wants to go anywhere improperly dressed?


 If I could I would whisper in her ear.. of course you are. Give yourself grace, you are beautiful, and ready to walk this path...now go.  I'll be right here, as your creator to guide you. Trust me.  


I can't wait to meet the rest of the flock.

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 

2 Timothy 1:7

resting in the block.

This blog writer is experiencing a bit of bloggers block...

maybe it has to do with the current state of the laundry pile? 

or the planning of a few happydays with a bunch of littles for the parks and rec department?

or planning the next storytime? 

or the powerpoint ordered by her father for church?

or fighting battles?

or finding 3 pairs of pants and two sweaters at a consignment store.. all for 16 bucks!

or waiting for that elusive mileage check to come in the mail?

or preparing a birthday celebration for a small groupie?

or busy learning to be dead? 

or trying to figure out what ISO, F8 and white balance actually mean?

or playing Xbox with her world changers and the Lead Singer?

or freezing her tootsies off sitting her at the computer?

or trying to avoid the content questions?

maybe it's January? 

She'd like to tell you that she's safe, and resting during this season, so you need not worry. She's sure all this resting will prove to give much material if as readers you are a bit patient. Until then, please have yourself AnOthEr HapPy DaY!

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save: he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." Zephaniah 3:17

may the best daughter win....

There is the bread that my mom makes every year for Christmas. 

It's affectionally called, Christmas bread.

 My mom was unable to make it due to a knee replacement she recently had.

While she spent the weeks preceding the big morning meal at her house on the couch.

A challenge was issued by dad to insure the tradition wouldn't miss a year.

The best baker of the Christmas bread would then be encouraged to keep making it 

year after year.. just like mom does. 

the youngest daughter, upon being encouraged to double the recipe 

was floating away on a flour cloud last time we saw her.

the middle daughter, who lives in a house with no heat in the kitchen,

had yeast raising issues, and never recovered.

the eldest daughter, going the extra mile as always, used a thermometer to make sure her 

yeast would work, and sprinkled coconut on top. 

Thinking she was a shoo in as the future Christmas bread maker.

Who won?

The Brother In Law, 

who upon seeing his wife floating on a cloud of flour stepped in to save the day.

I guess he gets to make it from now on..... right mom?  

to infinity and beyond..

The following hymn came to Fanny Crosby as a result of a prayer. 


Struggling financially, she desperately needed some money. As her usual custom, Fanny began to pray. A few minutes later, a gentleman offered her five dollars, the exact amount she needed. 


Later recalling the incident, she said, "I have no way of accounting for this except to believe that God put it into the heart of this good man to bring the money." 


The poem she wrote afterward became "All The Way My Savior Leads Me - Aldrin Lapitan

All the Way My Savior Leads Me

All the way my Savior leads me;

What have I to ask beside?

Can I doubt His tender mercy,

Who through life has been my Guide?

Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,

Here by faith in Him to dwell!

For I know, whate’er befall me,

Jesus doeth all things well;

For I know, whate’er befall me,

Jesus doeth all things well.

All the way my Savior leads me,

Cheers each winding path I tread;

Gives me grace for every trial,

Feeds me with the living Bread.

Though my weary steps may falter,

And my soul athirst may be,

Gushing from the Rock before me,

Lo! A spring of joy I see;

Gushing from the Rock before me,

Lo! A spring of joy I see.

All the way my Savior leads me

O the fullness of His love!

Perfect rest to me is promised

In my Father’s house above.

When my spirit, clothed immortal,

Wings its flight to realms of day

This my song through endless ages—

Jesus led me all the way;

This my song through endless ages—

Jesus led me all the way.

Abba Father, 

     I don't really know how to tell you how much I am in awe of You, and what you continue to do in and around those around me. You are worth to be praised and worshiped. Thank you Lord for every good and perfect gift you have given and will give. I pray that this new year that's sprawled out before me all fresh and without grief or even joy be filled with You.  Protect my heart so that I can be a venue for your glory everyday and every hour, and Father I ask that every step I take be lead by you. If your not leading... I am not moving.. and that might be hard so remind me, Father, that it will be all worth it. I''m trusting you. amen.