Fall should be celebrated.. by dancing,

creating...

and making faces in a makeshift mirror.

happy fall!

reflecting

i'm starting this small group on sunday nights. i feel a tad bit out of place due to the fact that i'm the only one in there that hasn't been involved for 6 years. so i'm the newbie.. i'm a bit perplexed at the study material and the goal of it all, but i think that's ok. i am a visionary.... if we are going there.. i've been there in my mind and heart already... So in this instance i feel a bit of relief that i have no clue. i'm blindly following with my eyes open the leader of the small group. he used to be on staff with me and a man who i admire and look up to as a follower of Christ.

in our first week, the assignment is to write a letter telling when we first felt God's presence, and what are some ways God has revealed himself to us since then. So, after writing the letter i felt like i should share it with you all.. (which is all 7 of you who "follow"..heehee) .. so enjoy getting to know a bit more about who i am..

when i was growing up my parent’s made it a point to make sure i was at church every sunday. it was a non-negotiable. i was just always there, luckily it was only a sunday morning kinda church, because i quickly realized that the “real” church in my brain happened at a local bible camp.

it was at this camp that i surrendered my heart to God practically every summer beginning in the 3rd grade. it was the constant urging of the Holy Spirit that i felt to become more like Christ even at a early age. One year however, i felt that urging a bit more.

i remember it was on a tuesday night at camp, it wasn’t even the night that they shared the Gospel and they make you cry.. (which i found our later was their whole goal..) we had just wrapped up our cabin’s devotions and i for some reason began questioning everything that i knew to be true. I remember clearly thinking “how do we know that God exists.” i went somewhere to be alone, but God answered my distress by bringing a lady into my life, Bonnie. Funny thing is i don’t remember anything we talked about that night, just that we talked. And in the morning, she was there to talk again. Then, every time i went back to camp.. she was there asking and inquiring about my relationship with God.

Since then, God has reveled to me so very much that i hold dear and close to my heart. it’s not a small thing when you see God working in your life.. it in fact, is addicting and drives me to become closer to Him constantly, so that i can feel and know that He still finds me useful and available.

coffee?

i'd like to sit and talk a bit about the "whys"

i'd get us both venti drips and we could chat a a tat tat

about

why you have different standards

why you think that the job is done good

why you all did it the way you did

why you continue to live with it

why you can't confront

why you think it's ok

why your actions are speaking louder than your voice

the answers would not be for my benefit, but knowing them would..

help with the conversations that i am forced to have.

help with the hard stuff

help with my heart being ok to follow

knowing you, you'd talk

but in the end

forget we ever talked

and go on

ignoring the hurt

preschool needles

this morning i had the amazing opportunity to let 7 preschoolers play with needles. such great care was taken to avoid being pricked, and over all it was an outstanding lesson in pattern making. For about 45 minutes these boys, and one princess sat on my grandma's sleeping bag talking and discussing important things that preschoolers think are important like : mommies, daddies, names of cats, and of course snot. i love my job.

(this idea was found here !! )

Feeling Yellow..

yellow string necklaces, mmmmm.. they only ate a few

drawing how you think music "looks" is something new i tried with this young group.

i think they loved the BIG paper...

happyday! to you!

my tuesday love...

although, I love everything about story time @ the library,

the littles are my favorite.

i also love that they are very serious when it comes to their craft time.

i can proudly say that the only time i had to cancel

due to nobody showing up was the day the circus came to town.

pretty hard to upstage a circus.

personal 9/11

this morning, i woke up to the sounds of that horrific moment when a newscaster had realized that the first building was tumbling. even before my feet hit the floor i was praying for those that re-live "the moment" when they realized that a loved one was there. it's got to be so very tough.

so i was a bit discouraged and just in a funk about how life is unfair and hard. i knew i needed to renew my mind.

so i did, by listening to the Word and walking. focusing my thoughts on how great and wonderful God really is.. and that He allowed 9/11 to happen and He allows our own personal "9/11 's" to happen. it's that shock of something so inconceivable that should draw us into His arms. something that totally brings us to the end of ourselves, because when we are made weak.... HE is made strong.

it's in that truth that i lean hard on when i remember how loving my Father is.. and that He wants me as close as possible to Him, always.

a letter to my family.

Dear family,

This past week i have seen each and everyone of you for a bit, but never have i seen you all together. you come and go like your on this ride that never stops to rest. Im not blaming you.. i have heard you say that it's the "busy time of year." but can i honestly tell you i hate it?

I miss hearing about your day, about your plans for the next day, and i miss hearing giggles when someone's "high" is school lunch or the groans that come when veggies are served. Don't you know that family happens here.. around me? The reason all is not right in the world of the world changers and they are acting all weirdo is because they miss me too.

i can only plead my case. lets just say, i miss you. lots.

Love,

boxes

last night i stayed up a tad bit too late. ok well, it was 3:30ish before i actually went to sleep. and what you ask was i doing up that late? well, i was hanging with my super duper friends from high school. yup. picked up where we left off after all these years. my face still hurts from smiling so much.

i think what was so much fun was the realization that happens somewhere in your 30s that high school just isn't going to define you anymore, and you start shaking off those old boxes that you were put into either by yourself or by others. and you start to live as though you really did find yourself when you left high school.

that's what happened around the campfire last night.

i saw two friends.. refuse to live in those boxes anymore...

in all reality they had probably gotton rid of those boxes in some sort of fashion years earlier.. and i was just realizing that they were gone, my hope is thats what happened. life is way to short to live in boxes that either you put yourself into .. or that was forced upon you by small town thinking. either way i'm proud of them. i admire them.

the hard part i guess, as the night progressed, you find out that life gets messier and hurts run deeper and loving those we love gets harder.... and those boxes are harder to live in, or get rid of.

they become comfortable.

and we dont' really want to get rid of them.

so we don't. we carry them. we live in them. and dare i say we enjoy them?

it's hard to move out of a box into a new one, but good friends, around a fire, are pretty good truth tellers after midnight..

so i'll hold onto it.. at least for another 6 weeks.. then you can have it.. until you move out of that box.

unless... you need more time to realize that you don't want to live in that box anymore....

i'll be here either way.

cause that's what friends are for.

Biking 40 miles on your 38th birthday is not everyone's idea of fun...

especially if your this guy.

but you can be "bought off" with a birthday meal

and sweet candles 20 miles into it..

happy birthday mr lead singer.

(i eat too much.)

onto not into.

woke up this morning and poured my coffee on the bottom of my cup... yah, it was upside down.. so i took that as a really great sign to do nothing all day. i really need to be sewing curtains for the room i'm currently in, and then there is that diaper bag i have had a zillion months to finish but now only have a few days...(hopefully). then i picked up some great fabric for a purse, and it's my lead singer's birthday tomorrow so there is i'm sure something i should be doing to help celebrate that, but after the coffee incident i'm a bit afraid to do anything without a nap first.

i think i'll grab a pillow and go outside and snooze a few in the sun.

happy saturday.

happyday!

today's happyday! was a bit more messy than in the past. ok, so it was REALLY messy. i'm wondering when the fact that my first daycare with all boys, except one lone princess, doesn't like to get messy will sink in. i think images are the only way to really give you the effect of the mess.

yah, that's what i call a ROYAL mess, so much fun. (did you notice the "glue" on the forehead?)

then i went to my other daycare. the kiddos are younger at this one, so we didn't create a super mess with paper mache. instead, we painted and created fridge magnet holdy things for our art. paint is always messy, but such fun was had. i personally think this particular daycare place could sing and dance the hour away.. they love that part that much.

it was another happyday! out on the road.. super uber nice and sunny too.. it was nearly perfect. i say nearly because i still don't have a bus. *giggling to myself